Moving Through Fear & Self Doubt
Having low self-esteem is in fact very common among people of all ages and backgrounds. If we are feeling down on ourselves, it is all too easy to slide into thinking that we are completely alone in our thoughts and feelings, as if no one else could possibly understand. The roots of low self-esteem often stem from a tangled mix of self-doubt and, more frequently, fear that holds us back. If low self-esteem is currently plaguing you, and you can sense that the roots of fear and self-doubt are deeply embedded in your mind, you may find yourself actively seeking effective ways to move out of these heavy states and reach your true capabilities and potential.
As women, we tend to harbor these traits more prominently and deeply than our male counterparts. Every day, we are bombarded with a relentless stream of advertisements and other subliminal messaging that pushes us to believe we should be doing more and trying harder to please everyone around us. These societal pressures can shape our self-perception and expectations from a young age. Often, these traits can develop in childhood and either exacerbate or diminish over time, influencing our relationships, career choices, and overall sense of self-worth.
Check out these uplifting tips to help you release fear and self-doubt, boost your self-esteem, and learn to trust yourself more fully:
Get Clear - Get the Facts
Your fears and your doubts don't necessarily reflect the truth of your situation. Most times, they simply mirror your inner fears and emotional struggles that you might be facing. Think about all of your achievements and how hard you worked to get to where you are today, overcoming obstacles and challenges along the way. Be proud of yourself and take a moment to truly admire your unique capabilities. Celebrate the strength that has brought you this far!
Whenever you're sitting in that uncomfortable space of fear and doubt, it's vital to get your facts straight. Take the time to study the specific issue in question, thoroughly weigh the pros and cons, and engage in meaningful conversations with people that you trust and respect. They can provide valuable insights and support, guiding you through this challenging mental landscape. When I need to clear on something, I carve out some time for my meditation practice.
Acknowledge What Your Strengths Are
Make a comprehensive list of all the things you truly excel in and feel proud of. Write down your unique skills, experiences, and notable accomplishments that make you shine. When others offer you praise, accept it gracefully, with an open heart, and acknowledge the incredible talents you possess. Celebrate your strengths every single day, no matter how big or small they may seem.
Create positive affirmations that resonate with you and make it a habit to remind yourself of just how far you’ve come in your journey. Instead of allowing your thoughts to drift toward what you could have done differently or better, focus on the present and the progress you've made. Once you find yourself wallowing in that muddy pile of self-doubt, it can become quite challenging to dig yourself out, so let positivity lead the way!
How Are You With Self Love & Acceptance?
Fear is a completely natural aspect of the human condition, just as self-doubt is an inherent part of being human. These feelings are not 'bad' conditions that must be banished or eradicated from our minds and our lives entirely. Instead, you can work to embrace them as valuable teachers - and this journey towards understanding and acceptance takes a generous dose of self-love.
Cultivating a healthy relationship with your own mind, heart, and soul offers you a strong foundation of self-love and acceptance. With these powerful tools in your emotional toolkit, you may find that you make better decisions, taking your time to ponder and reflect before acting. Self-love and self-acceptance will gently guide your actions, ultimately saving you from making those costly mistakes that we all wish to avoid.
Call Upon Your Friends, Family and Allies
When you find yourself needing some encouragement to talk you out of a rut, it’s essential to make sure you reach out to those special people in your life whom you know you can trust and who will gladly offer you their unwavering support. Don’t ever feel any shame about reaching out for a friendly chat – remember, we all experience fears and doubts at various points in our lives. It’s perfectly natural! So do what you need to do in order to build up your confidence and boost your self-esteem. While you might never completely eliminate those pesky fears and doubts, you certainly have the power to stop them from running the show by having open conversations with others and keeping them at a manageable distance.
Sometimes we recognize fear for what it truly is, yet we can’t seem to get over that pesky hurdle anyway. That’s precisely the right time to call in some reinforcements and support for your journey. Reach out to a friend, colleague, or family member who is fully invested in your goal and ambitions. Why not go for a cozy coffee or a refreshing glass of wine together and engage in an open-hearted chat about your thoughts and feelings? Use them as a sounding board for your ideas, ask for their valuable advice, or even straight up request a much-needed pep talk!
The people who truly love and care for you also have immense faith in you, so there's really no need to worry about feeling embarrassed when you tell them that fear has you caught in a paralyzing grip. They will be there to support you through every single step you take in this journey; sometimes, all we really need is to hear a person we love and admire sincerely reassure us that everything will be all right in the end.
Speaking of Allies ... Choose Your Friends Wisely
Chronically negative people can really drag you down and significantly weaken your self-esteem, making it difficult to stay uplifted. Sometimes it can seem as though nothing you do will ever be good enough for them, no matter how hard you try.
That's why it is absolutely essential, especially when you are down and out, to surround yourself with positive people who genuinely support and uplift you, listening to your thoughts and feelings instead of judging or criticizing. And if they happen to have a history of consistently dishing out good advice, then that's definitely an added bonus that can make your journey even more enjoyable!
Get Clear On Your Personal Values
Define your personal values - the essential values that you consciously live by on a daily basis. What do you truly stand for, and conversely, what are the things that you absolutely will not tolerate in your life? Where exactly do your personal boundaries lie, and how do they shape your interactions with others? What are the specific things or core principles that drive you to accomplish what you do each and every day?
Once you take the time to establish and clarify these important values, you will gain a much more realistic and insightful perspective of your current situation. Narrow in on the things that genuinely propel your actions forward and are deeply rooted at the heart of your beliefs.
Overcoming fear and self-doubt can truly be a lifelong journey filled with ups and downs. It’s important to actively try to stop questioning your personal decisions. Remember, over-analyzing is a sheer waste of precious time and energy – instead, trust in the actions you consciously choose to take and confidently put your plans into motion. Strengthening your intuition can be an excellent and transformative way to learn how to stop that habit of over-analyzing, making space for more clarity and confidence in your life.
How to Keep Moving When You Feel Frozen With Fear
Fear is a perfectly natural and normal emotion that everyone experiences at various points in life. While fear can actually be quite helpful at times, as it heightens our awareness of potential risks and keeps us alert, it also serves to improve our mental focus when we need it most.
However, that said, fear in excess can unfortunately have just the opposite effect, leading to paralysis and indecision. The essential trick here is to ensure you are not allowing your fear to overrun your decisions, which could ultimately dictate your actions and choices in unproductive ways. Balancing fear and courage is key to navigating life's uncertainties with confidence.
There Are More Than Fifty Shades of Fear...
Although there are many people who would try to tell us that things are cut and dry or black and white, the reality is that nothing really is as simple as it seems. Fear itself can take many different forms, ranging from mild anxiety that creeps in during stressful situations to the overwhelming sensation of overthinking ourselves into a frozen or debilitating state. As mentioned above, fear can indeed protect you from real danger and play a crucial role in helping to cease impulsive behaviors that can lead to negative outcomes. Furthermore, fear has a close and intricate relationship with your gut instinct, and this connection can actually enhance your decision-making abilities when faced with challenging choices.
If you let your fear take over it can not only cause stress, but exacerbate it. Stress causes all kinds of illnesses, and these can keep you from accomplishing the things you are working toward. If your fears are not at this point stopping you from reaching your goals or getting through your day in a healthy way, you can try this method from Psychology Today.
If your fear and self-doubt are not causing you debilitating health issues that prevent you from fully enjoying life, then it is absolutely worthwhile to take a bold step forward and plunge headfirst into the exciting process of creating your dreams. Embrace the risks that come along with pursuing your passions, for when you bravely move past your familiar comfort zones, your self-esteem will receive a magnificent boost that can elevate your spirit and enhance your overall well-being!
Ideas for Moving Beyond Your Fear & Self Doubts
Do you think it's truly possible to make fear and self-doubt your unexpected allies? Visualize yourself powerfully obtaining your dreams, whatever they may be that bring you joy and fulfillment. Imagine vividly what your worst-case scenario might look like and how it would feel. What proactive steps can you take right now to be fully prepared for this potential circumstance? Bring yourself back to the cold, hard facts, and clear from your mind any unhelpful assumptions that might be clouding your judgment. Now, contrary to the worst-case scenario, take a moment to reflect on what the best-case scenario could be, filled with optimism and possibility.
Gather your energy as much as you can, and begin to pour it into vividly creating your very best case scenario. One fun approach to working in this empowering way is to use your fear as a unique navigation tool. Take a moment to assess your inner fears, and then bravely seek out possible solutions that could lead you to overcome them. Embrace this journey of exploration with a sense of curiosity and playfulness!
Remember - Fear & Self Doubt Are Not Permanent
Fear is incredibly real. When you consciously take steps to clear the cobwebs and doubts from your mind and heart, you will be all the more ready to make your dreams into reality. Once you have this process down to a fine science, each consecutive step will feel that much easier. There will be times of feeling as though you are taking one step forward, two steps back ... but this is a natural part of the process. As your self esteem and confidence continue to grow, it will become second nature to pull yourself out of any ruts. I love using gemstones and crystals for energetic and physical support. This Transformation Bracelet is made with Hematite, Amethyst, Onyx and Obsidian and was designed to dissolve and transform unwanted energy.
“Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”
- Martin Luther King Jr.
We’ve all heard Newton’s 1st Law of Motion: A body at rest tends to stay at rest, while a body in motion tends to stay in motion. Notice that feeling of fear, and then take that first small step in spite of it. You will feel amazing after you’ve done that one little thing. You’ll realize that you can do it, and you’ll be excited to take that next step. Fear will be replaced by enthusiasm!
Know That You Are Not Alone!
Every single person on this planet, at one point or another, experiences self-doubt, especially in those critical moments before trying something new and exciting. Everyone has undergone the internal struggle of feeling the fear of failure, worrying about looking like a complete fool, or stressing over the potential loss of friends when you start to become too famous, too wealthy, too thin, or whatever transformation you fear might alienate those around you.
When that moment of panic washes over you and threatens to pull you under, remind yourself that you have faced these feelings before and have successfully moved through them in the past. Take several deep, calming breaths, grab your journal to help clear your mind, and don’t hesitate to call upon your trusted allies for support. Use your powerful tools of self-confidence and creativity, for they are your true superpowers. Remember, you've got this, and you’re not alone on this journey!